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Category Archives: Shopping

Milwaukee brand tools have always been a
preference for demanding professionals, they
are famous for durability and quality.  Anyone
who needs to drill a few holes or put in a couple
of screws find this cordless drill indispensable.
The Milwaukee 12 Volt Drill Driver does not
disappoint even for the roughest of tradesmen.
Weighing only 2.5 pounds, the lightweight
advantage of this tool is genuinely practical for
large and small jobs alike.  The lean 7 3/8 inch
length not only fits in those cramped spaces,
but slides right into a tool belt freeing up your
hands for other needed tasks.

With two superior Lithium-Ion batteries and a
thirty minute charger you will continue working
while others are at a virtual standstill.  The
handy battery fuel gauge on the Milwaukee M12
Drill Driver gives remaining run-time at a glance,
eliminating perpetual guesswork.  With this great
cordless drill there is no need to waste valuable
time looking for a light source, it includes a
convenient LED illumination right at your
fingertip pointing exactly where you need it.

Milwaukee has included easy to read torque
clutch settings so your screws should never be
overdriven.  Dual speed settings from 0 to 400,
or 0 to 1500 RPM adds essential versatility to
this amazing little tool.  With 250 LBS of full
torque this drill driver will tackle most jobs with
ease.  The 3/8 inch ratcheting metal chuck locks
snugly onto drill bits for augmented grasp.  Its
all metal gear box will deliver more endurance
overall than most of the competitors.  A handy
onboard bit or tip holder is the only conceivable
feature this little tool requires to reach absolute
perfection.

I recommend this 12 Volt drill driver as the best
choice for any discriminating professional,
backyard handyman, or woman. 

Copyright 2011, by Glenn Raymond.

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Yes, it really is me (back in the day).

 

Thanksgiving has come and gone again and I just
realized I have some “need to know” information
for all of my fellow “anti-shop with the ladies”
men out there.  This is a true story and I never
have to shop with my wife again, because of it.

My wife loves to shop, so her gift has always
been to take her shopping.  Now guys, this is
not a good idea.  Such a gift will take years
from your life, trust me.

My lovely wife was dragging me around the
mall by the pocketbook (nose).  At the end
of $200.00 she suddenly remembered she
had to have a couple of good fitting bras.  I
had no clue what exactly I was in for when
she dragged me by the hair, kicking and
screaming into Victoria’s Secret.

I blushed at first, but then I gladly noticed
several other unlucky, red faced men
mulling around as well.  Actually, looking
back on it, a few of them seemed a tad too
happy about it.  They had most certainly
been brainwashed to appear happy at all
times by their significant others.

To my horror this place had undergarments
practically tied in knots, piled and heaped in
handy, pre-sized bins.  My wife began pilfering
the merchandise and for a few moments I
actually entertained the possibility that she just
might fall in head first and never come out again.
All of the male natives had the look of certain
uprising in their eyes.  I began plotting my
fast and safe escape route.

Thirty-five minutes in my wife holds up six sling
shots (bras) and announces to every man in the
store that she is going to try them on.  She
demanded that I stay firmly planted right where
I was.

I waited.  Panic was crawling and writhing about
in the pit of my gut and a few guys looked as
though they were either going to toss their
cookies or pass out.  Either way it was not going
to be pretty.  I waited.

After what was certainly ten years of my life, the
dressing room finally regurgitated my wife.  She
happily handed me one bra and tossed the rest
back into a bin.  I was so happy.

“We can go now?”

“Not on your life.  I’ve only found one.”

The ritual began again, and men let me tell you
it is not at all like the catalogs.  I never got to
see one of those gorgeous models.  Five bra’s
later my wife disappeared into the changing
room again.  My peaceful waiting had ended
though.

She must have heard me laughing, because she
tried those things on in a flat minute.  It had to
be some kind of bra hooking speed record.  It
was a complete shame the Guinness  people
were not on site.  She may have made me
famous that night if they had been.

I relished the horror in her eyes when she
emerged from the dressing room and caught me
parading her black bra around the store perched
perfectly around the crown of my cowboy hat.

I had never, and probably never will again,
experience that blushing,  “momma takes scalps”
look of complete and utter “giving birth” facial
expression again.

Without further hesitation I announced just
how fine it would be if stores like this one would
kindly install a bar and big screen television, so
we men could lounge around with dignity while
we were held hostage to wait for so long.  Every
man laughed and agreed with me.  I was glowing.

Clearly horrified, my wife rushed forth removing
my (her) elastic and lace hat band.  She was
clearly muttering vehement expletives in my
general direction.  With two bras in hand she was
escorted to the front of a very long line of angry
women.  I had performed much better than
planned.  The women who worked there loved
me so much they let us go first.

“I am SO so sorry.”  My dear wife looked quite ill
as we approached the register.

“Oh, no honey.”  The clerk replied.  “We’re sorry.”
She looked me over sideways.  “We are very
sorry for your misfortune.”

I think they charged me double, but it was worth
it.  The sound of clapping and cheering from the
other men rang out behind us. 

I have not had to go shopping with my wife
since.  So take it from me you guys, a few well
thought out, quick-witted tricks and your time
is just that, yours.  Enjoy.

Copyright 2010, by Glenn Raymond.
Photograph of Glenn Raymond, Copyright 2010,
by Glenn Raymond.  All Rights Reserved.

I am sure some of you are thinking a lot about
Halloween, haunted houses, costume parties,
and even scary movies right now.  Well guess
what, there is something a whole lot more
horrific lurking at my house right now.

When I got home from my 10 hour day of
hanging drywall, I found my wife standing in
our bedroom looking at her feet.  She wore a
rather hot looking red spike heel shoe on her left
foot and an old dirty sneaker on her right.  What
was worse, her closet door was wide open (this
is new.)  I know I have never looked in there
before.

My mouth fell open, and our new dog who stood
happily up on the bed licked my tongue.  No,
that is not the scary part, stick in here with me
while I finish.

There were no clothes in the closet, but it was
heaped with shoes and boots of every shape,
color and texture imaginable.  I am certain she
had at least 2 of every style known to woman
kind in there.

My face must have drained of color, because the
dog howled, then rolled over and played dead.  I
was trying not to show my terror at the unknown
expense of all those shoes.

“What’s for di-dinner?” 

“I don’t know.”  She slid off the red shoe.  “But I
baked a dark chocolate espresso cake.  That’s
what I’m having.”

Copyright 2010, by Glenn Raymond.